This is Mike Title.
Mike is a very silly boy.
In his head he rides
white unicorns and fights
Bengal tigers barefoot.
I like Mike. He's funny.
I met him eight years ago
when I interviewed his
old band. They tried to scare
me away with vibes. It didn't work.
We became friends.
Mike sings, you see.
His band is Dead Kids.
Yesterday he called me
to tell me that he had
gone down to Oxford St dressed
as a papparrazi and told the
tourists that he killed Diana.
This is a typical day for Mike.
Once he turned up early in the morning
with a fat lip and dressed as Freddie Mercury
He was clutching a can of empty lager.
Another time he fell through a burnt roof
in Hackney pretending to be spiderman.
Messed his face right up again.
The point is: Mike Title is a frontman
in a world without frontmen.
And you should consider buying Dead Kids new single.
It's called 'Fear & Flouride'. It's out in
November on Salvia/XL. It it does well
Mike can trade in his unicorn for a minotaur
and the world will be a better place.